


A Rose By Any Other Name

by the_ol_razzle_dazazzle



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Pearlidot Bomb 2016, hooo this one was hard to write due to personal things, not that I remember because this is crossposted, the author probably used schrodinger's cat wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9140446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ol_razzle_dazazzle/pseuds/the_ol_razzle_dazazzle
Summary: Pearlidot Bomb 2016: Fear/UnderstandingDeath is something one feels prevalently, but never talked about. It is both discussed and not discussed, for there is sorrow if one talks too much about the past- and regret if one talks too little.Peridot doesn't want to be compared to Rose.





	

Peridot was happy with her relationship with Pearl. There were many facets of which she was thankful for; the fact that they were a couple didn’t lessen their arguing- which she was thankful for. She thoroughly enjoys a relationship where one can say, “I love you.” and “You’re wrong.” in the same sentence.  
  
Because when you’re comfortable with your own opinions and don’t feel compelled to agree and concede- it makes her feel respected. As if there’s no secrecy or manipulation with Pearl. Communication, even if it was something Peridot struggled with, was important to her.  
  
However, there was…one problem with her and Pearl’s relationship. The one problem that could not be solved, nor argued or compared- you couldn’t kill it, for it was already dead. You couldn’t bring it back, because it would just hurt her. You couldn’t touch it, because it’s more fragile than explosives. You couldn’t ignore it, not when you can hear it every night- every glance at the frame- the embodiment of her legacy, gazed upon so fondly with watery, tearstained vision. It was both alive and dead, and no one wants anyone- let alone her, to open the box and look in the feline.  
  
  
  
Rose was a…difficult concept for Peridot to understand. She was conflicted to what she thought of her.  
  
But Rose was wrong, right? That’s why she’s dead. Steven’s much better than her. She was a general, she shattered one of the Diamonds. And…considering how Steven exists, she surely didn’t treat Pearl well- Pearl was devoted to her. The very thought of Pearl being obsessed with her made Peridot feel like she was stabbed with sharp thorns.  
  
But to Pearl, Rose was kind, beautiful, elegant, lively. To Pearl, Rose was everything. She heard about her in all manners of tone, different volumes for different aspects. Tears for her courageous and strong legacy, fond words for her beauty, hushed whispers for her love. Peridot couldn’t possibly ask to take that away from her. To take away someone that’s known Pearl for millennia more than she has, even the thought that she would even think so is just…wrong!  
  
Peridot looks at herself- literally, in a mirror. She’s nothing like Rose- Rose is tall, imposing, enveloping, motherly…whatever that means. She’s short, Rose is tall. She’s ‘cute’, Rose is beautiful. She’s saved the Earth, Rose has…okay they’re tied on that one. She’s not Rose, and she’s not the one that made Pearl feel like everything.  
  
“…Okay this needs to stop.” Peridot whacks herself in the head after another self-examination. “This is getting too much.” She groans, how could Rose- an inferior deceased general, cause the great and lovable Peridot to gain such a worthless thing as a…complex. “I swear, if I don’t tell her this is going to be ridiculous.” Peridot grumbles.  
  
  
“Pearl…” Peridot tugs at the other gem’s ribbon.  
  
“Yes, Peridot?” Pearl gives her a smile that she knows is fake. She can see from her eyes, hesitant and flitting, slow to blink away tears.  
  
“I-I…” Peridot sighs, trying to calm herself. “I don’t want you to compare me to her.”  
  
“W-What do you mean by that?” Peridot’s eyes are level to Pearl’s hands- frantically fidgeting.  
  
“Pearl, you know what I mean.” Peridot sighs.  
  
Pearl gives that fake smile. “You’re nothing like her.” A patronising pat, not convincing to anyone.  
  
“And is that wrong to you?!” Pearl opens her mouth for a response, “I know I can’t just ask you to forget about her, but…” Peridot mumbles, uncertain.  
  
“I want you to talk to me. I…don’t know what to say when you start going on about her.” She sighs, biting her tongue on how she felt- a mixture of envious loathing.  
  
“Peridot...” Pearl looks down at the other gem, _down_. Her eyes are full of hurt- pushing her into the dirt where she should be. Where Rose probably would’ve been if it wasn’t for Steven.  
  
“I-I’m sorry, I know it’s a bad time. A…really bad time, but…” She fidgets, with her hair, tugging it slightly. _Stars, I should’ve shut up, I shouldn’t have said anything…_  
  
Pearl wraps her arms around her, her knees falling all too quickly to the floor. Peridot can feel the stray tears dapple her skin, some creeping and making vine-like streams. “I’m so sorry I would do that.”  
  
“It’s my-“  
“No, it’s not. It’s only inevitable that you would think that.”  
Inevitable was a word for the hopeless.  
“Pearl, I had absolutely no intention of thinking ill of her- stars I don’t know _what_ to think of her.”  
  
“I meant comparing yourself.” The arms tighten, “T-The last thing I want is for you to try thinking of me the way I thought of her.” Pearl murmurs. “I thought you loved her.” Peridot is hesitant to return the hug, just wanting to be there.  
“Of course I do, but…the way I feel about her is wrong. I lived to die for Rose, stars, I couldn’t count the amount of times I thought ‘it should’ve been me’. if I was given an eternity.” Pearl kisses her cheek. “For you? I want to be with you, I don’t want any sense of obligation among us.”  
“W-Well of course I wouldn’t impose such a thing on you!”  
“I meant you. I love you, Peridot.” _Peridot_. She cared about her, for being her.  
  
Peridot returned the hug, “…So do you want me to-“  
  
“I just want to stay like this…”  
  
It was an understanding. Perhaps, one day- one would no longer concern itself with the box, one can live without it- but one must keep it in their thoughts, and not in their thoughts.  
  
I wonder what the cat, if only singularly alive, would think?


End file.
